Skinny dipping?

I guess there's a first time for everything.

I am in love with Stephan Jenkins. For those of you who need clarification, he is the frontman for Third Eye Blind, one of my all time favorite bands who I have loved since the fourth grade. Well, they came to Kent State last night and I got to see them for 10 bucks. They were AMAZING! They really put on a great show, and they played every song I wanted them to play. They sounded so great, and they were recording for their live album, and they said they'd come back once the album was out... I sure hope so cause I'm pretty much ready to see them again right now.

So today I got a little depressed, mainly because a certain someone can't seem to return a phone call and it's driving me crazy, but also because I feel like I'm letting my life pass me by. I haven't really made any changes in my life since I came to college. I'm still closed off and scared, and now I have an even smaller support group. So as I was lying in bed at 2 in the afternoon I decided that I really needed to get the hell up and start taking charge of my life. I've looked into some more clubs that I want to join and I've resolved to be more adventurous when it comes to meeting people and going to functions. And mostly I need to start focusing on the positives. And there actually are quite a few right now, i.e. going out for thirsty thursday tomorrow, going to a Ball(!) on Friday (it's something put on by the Fashion Student Organization... there's going to be a fashion show and dancing and I get to dress up... I can't wait!) and then on Saturday I get to see the XC girls even though I don't get to see the varsity race because I have to work. But even work won't be that bad b/c I get to be a balloon animal making princess woohoo. So, when I really stop to think about it, things aren't that bad, except that certain someone still hasn't called me back. And I feel like I'm more mad at myself about it than I am mad at him because I'm letting myself get all bent out of shape over a male who has made it quite obvious that he's not worth my time...

...so why do I still keep thinking about him?

Well, it's been a while. And in case you don't know... I'm actually at Kent State. And I think I'm pretty happy about it. I just feel really comfortable here. The campus is beautiful, and even though my dorm room was about a million degrees the first three weeks or so, everything's going pretty good. I've completed my training to become a zoo volunteer and I'm on my way to becoming a certified animal handler.

On the social front things are going well there too... except in the boy department. But there are some prospects. It's tough to be out there and available without becoming too vulnerable. That's definitely something I have to work on.

But yeah. I was having a rough night last night, it just seemed like everything was going wrong- first with a boy, then with a best friend. And as I was having my 203479246534973408th mental breakdown, I decided that I was going to stop letting myself feel like shit, and I was going to turn off the depressing music and do something good for myself. So at 2:00 am I decided to go for a run. Now that is what I love about college and living on campus. It was perfect outside. A light drizzle, nice and cool. And as I was running around the track, it started raining a little harder, and then a little harder, and then it was outright pouring. And I was so happy. Going back to my dorm, I couldn't stop smiling. I had the best runner's high ever. I hadn't run in so long, and I think in not doing so I was neglecting an important part of myself. So hopefully I can start running on a more regular basis, even if it's at 2 in the morning (and even if I do it more for the runner's high than for the actual health benefit)

So yeah, that's my update.